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In the last ten years that I’ve been putting out albums, touring, travelling the world, would you like to know the most important lesson? The most important lesson I have learned is to be able to diagnose when you are happy and to cherish it, and to really live it, and to fully be there, in that moment when you are happy. And looking at you, I just need you to know I am so happy in this moment. Because here’s the thing about happiness, it’s not a given, it’s not permanent, and it’s fleeting. So sometimes when we learn that lesson really early on in life, that happiness is fleeting and that you have it for a minute and it could be gone the next minute, sometimes the second thing that happens to us after that lesson is that we become afraid every time we’re happy, of losing it. And I used to do that. I would look at a crowd that was beautiful, and loud, and gorgeous, and singing every word to my songs, and I would be so scared because of how happy I was. I was so scared of when it would go away. And I think that we all do that. When we fall in love, we think ‘Oh, cool. How long until this ends, and I’m having to patch up my bruised bleeding heart again?’ ‘How soon until these friends that I love decide that I’m not cool after all, and stop hanging out with me?’ ‘How long ‘til I’m at this party before people find me out that I’m more insecure than anyone else here?’ ‘How long will I be dancing before someone points at me and thinks that I look stupid?’ These are the things that ruin our happiness. And I don’t want anyone, including your own mind, and your own fears, to ruin your happiness. So if you’re happy tonight, allow yourself that, and treat yourself to that. And sometimes we’re not happy for days on end, weeks on end, months on end. Sometimes we don’t just have a bad week, sometimes we have a bad year. And sometimes you go through something so hard that you feel like any of your mistakes are like marks against your record or something. Like those are gonna stain you forever. But that’s not the way that it works. And the cool thing about happiness being fleeting is it can go away really quickly, but it can come back really quickly and surprise you when you least expect it. And when I wrote this song, I was really fighting to find happiness and instead of finding permanent happiness, I found the lesson that I sing about in this song and I went to London and I met a woman named Imogen Heap and I told her a little idea and I played her this idea I had. And I ended up writing a song with her, and if you know the words to it please sing along with me. This one is the last song on the album, it’s called Clean.
We see our appearance everyday and we forget those negative thoughts aren’t real. We have to try and forget that we aren’t terrible people and we need to learn how to love ourselves.
Megan Stewart


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